My
mother’s reoccurring dream and call.
Those who we love deeply become part of us forever for they live in our hearts, as my Mother most certainly lives in mine. We certainly had our issues but she was always there: Allen L Roland
Speaking
as a psychotherapist, I can unequivocally say that virtually everyone has
issues with their mother ~ think about it ~ it is the first great love of our
life and the messages from it quite often resonate throughout our lives and
especially our relationships.
Mothers
Day is very special to me as well as for countless others so here’s a brief
backgrounder of Mothers Day and a short video tribute to activist mothers from the past and the
present. Six minute video ~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSsdvcfqKxA
As
Timothy Egan recently wrote in his online commentary from the New York Times
entitled The Last Mother’s Day ~ “When the last of your parents dies, as
Christopher Buckley wrote in his memoir, “Losing Mum and Pup,” you are an orphan. But you also lose the
true keeper of your memories, your triumphs, and your losses. Your mother is a
scrapbook for all your enthusiasms. She is the one who validates and the one
who shames, and when she’s gone, you are alone in a terrible way.”
My
mother died suddenly and unexpectedly 25 years
ago in Connecticut.
She
appeared sitting on my bed at that exact moment in
Sonoma, California ~ just as I was
falling
asleep.
I could
feel her deep love for me and she
whispered
~ "Allen, I know ..
Allen,
I know "
I fell
asleep saying to myself ~ that can't
be
my
mother.
Two days
later ~ I learned of her death
from my
brother and I realized that I
had an
after-death experience with
my mother.
Over 50% of
Americans have had such an after-death
experience
with a loved one ~ according
to Gallup.
My mother
had read my Unified Field Theory
at least a
month before she died ~
so
she must have been telling me that
she
now knew what I knew.
love and
soul consciousness that exists
not only
beyond time and space but ALSO beneath our deepest fears.
As
such, it is entirely possible to experience someone you love after they have
passed on and millions of Americans have had this experience ~ although they
may be reluctant to share it with others.
This
was an incredible act of
love from my
mother and most certainly from
beyond death and obviously
in
a joyful state of soul consciousness.
She
actually looked young and happy when she was sitting on my bed.
When I went
back to Boston
for my mothers
funeral ~ I
decided to share the loving
and joyful
moments I experienced with my
mother during
the Eulogy, including my after death experience with
her.
I
remember lying outside my mothers door before
I could
walk and wondering why my mother
was crying
inside ~ and wanting somehow to
help her.
I remember
sitting on my mothers lap for a picture
with my
twin brother, at four years old, and realizing how
extraordinarily beautiful my mother was ~ she looked
like
Greta Garbo.
I remember
the last time my mother spanked me
with a
hairbrush when I was probably seven or
eight years
old ~ the hairbrush broke in half
and we both
burst into spontaneous laughter
that
literally brought us to our knees.
I remember
her playing the piano with myself
standing
behind her ~ my hands on her shoulders
while I
sang the words of the old standards she
loved to
play.
Those
two songs are linked to my CD which is under BOOK & CD AUDIO on my website www.allenroland.com
plus another appropriate vocal by myself which is backed up by Scott Deturk and Mel Martin You are My Mother, Earth
Those were
magic moments and, in some ways, we bonded through the music we
played and sang together.
About ten
years before she unexpectedly died she shared
with me a reoccurring dream from childhood ~ which still haunted her. The dream
was a young golden haired little girl running free in a meadow and
laughing in total delight. I
told her that the little girl was herself and the dream represented her deep
desire to reconnect with that same childhood state of love, joy,
delight and soul consciousness.
She said
that it was too late for her ~ but the sad reality was that she was
getting far too many secondary benefits for being a victim
and martyr. In essence, she
was afraid of the joy and delight deepest within herself and her deep
unworthiness kept her from claiming it.
So, obviously
my most precious memory of my mother was when she came to me after she died ~ for it was only then that the
shackles of her victimhood had finally been released ~ it was only
then that I could truly experience her profound love for me ~ as well as her joyous need to
share with me her new awareness of this state of love, joy
and soul consciousness deepest within herself.
Finally she
was once again that blond haired little girl she
longed to be, laughing and running free in that meadow "Allen, I know, Allen, I know "
Allen L Roland
http://allenlrolandsweblog.blogspot.com/2012/05/memories-of-my-mom.html
Freelance Alternative Press Online columnist
and psychotherapist Allen L Roland
is available for comments, interviews, speaking engagements
and private consultations ( allen@allenroland.com )
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