A heart centered approach to assist combat veterans with PTSD
has not only proved effective but has led to inner transformation for many
combat veterans in the past five years. I present a composite of two graduates
of the Healing the Wounded Hearts (Band of Brothers) program in Northern
California where Johnny
finally came home to a life of meaning , value and framed in gratefulness: Allen
L Roland. Ph.D
“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that
comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have
contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your
gratitude.” ~ Ralph Waldo
Emerson
It is estimated that at least 40% of combat troops
suffer from Post traumatic Stress disorder (PTSD) ~ a disorder that
an individual is diagnosed with after being directly exposed to an extreme
traumatic event such as witnessing an actual or threatening death experience,
serious injury, or someone who has been fatally injured. PTSD can
also be triggered by a threat to one’s physical integrity or learning, or
witnessing an unexpected or violent death, serious harm, or being threatened of
death or injury by a family member or other close associate.
The
person with PTSD that is exposed to a particular event usually has experienced
intense fear, helplessness, or a horror event ~ which results in disorganized
or agitated behavior and
usually reinforces earlier emotional separation where it then becomes an
emotional block to joy and happiness.
Many people who have PTSD have experienced the trauma event
through military combat, violent personal assault (sexual and/or physical),
robbery, mugging, taken against their will as a hostage, terror attack,
torture, prisoner of war in a concentration camp, involved in various
disasters, horrendous auto accident, or diagnosed with a life threatening
illness ~ in other words civilians can also experience all the symptoms of
PTSD.
This
post will share with you the experiences of a composite person who I will call
Johnny, who has been diagnosed with PTSD as a result of being in the military
and being exposed to a traumatic event. Johnny served in the military for 28 years and his last deployment
was in 2007. Although it has been eight years since Johnny was active in the
military, his experiences and the PTSD still impact his daily life today.
SPECIFIC DESCRIPTION OF PTSD SYMPTOMS
According to the
DSM-V, there are five symptom clusters for PTSD: stressor, intrusion,
avoidance, negative alterations in cognitions and mood, and alterations in
arousal and reactivity. Johnny, who is a composite of two actual
combat veterans with PTSD as well as graduates of the Healing the Wounded
heart (Band of Brothers) self-healing group, experienced multiple
symptoms in each of the five clusters.
With respect to stressor symptoms, Johnny witnessed the traumatic
event of a military vehicle hitting an improvised explosive device (IED) along
with witnessing the aftermath of what happened to those individuals that were
in the vehicle collision as well as the individuals who were trying to
save them which included himself.
This event dramatically impacted Johnny as there was a shift in
his personality, as he acted in unexpected ways before and after being
deployed, which was particularly noticeable to those closest to him.
He became constantly on edge, hyper vigilant, more irritable, easy
to startle, and feared leaving the house and having social interactions when
before, he was very easy-going and social. The event also impacted his
transition to civilian life and his ability to cope with day-to-day
stressors.
Intrusion symptoms
include having recurring, or reliving intrusive memories of the trauma. These
symptoms include having traumatic nightmares, dissociative reactions such as
flashbacks, intense or prolonged grief after the event and marked psychological
reactions after being exposed to the trauma related stimuli.
A month
after Johnny returned from his deployment he started experiencing traumatic
nightmares and was reliving the event over and over in his head. He started to
feel a sense of responsibility of not being able to change the event and wanted
to go back in time to that day and change the outcomes by thinking about what
would have happened if the military convoy left earlier, took a different
route, etc.
The
nightmares were so real to Johnny that he would relive the traumatic event in his dreams to the
smallest details, from how pretty it was that night and morning, to the smell
of explosive, diesel, dirt, etc. For months, Johnny experienced these nightmares
daily when he first returned from the military.
These days the nightmares are minimal but sometimes still impact Johnny’s sleeping habits. The
impact of the recurring nightmares included lack of sleep, jumping out of bed
in a pool of sweat, and a fear of getting a good night’s sleep. The
lack of sleep, or getting to sleep further exacerbated Johnny’s feelings of being on edge.
Experiencing
the nightmares affected Johnny’s job performance at work as he struggled to concentrate on the
task at hand and was eventually let go after two years after his return from
combat.
Isolation is the principle precursor to the rising Veterans
suicide rate.
Although he had returned to the U.S, he lacked the ability and
desire to follow his own path in life.
In other
words, although he had physically come home, he didn't feel as though he was
really here. It was as if there was an invisible wall between him and life.
There didn't seem to be much of a reason for life, survival or the future. He
tried to hide from his real feelings, by using drugs and alcohol and lots of
it.
Johnny
was so haunted by these memories that he
didn’t want to keep remembering so he dulled his senses with alcohol and drugs.
He self-medicated in order to avoid dealing with the issues at hand, thus
delaying his recovery and
reinforcing his isolation.
Johnny
also had problem remembering simple things, like what day it was, losing
things, forgetting to bathe and brush his teeth, driving and forgetting where
he was going. He also reported feelings of depression and feeling
unmotivated to make behavior changes since his feelings of self-worth were also
affected. Johnny would get in the car and start driving and then lose his train of
thought and end up missing his destination. Johnny also became
disorganized and had difficulty prioritizing his day.
Johnny said he would keep from driving down crowded streets
as well as heavily trafficked and loud places. As a result, Johnny
didn’t like to drive in the mornings and evenings during peak traffic times, he
felt like he was closed-in. In the military, Johnny was trained to
constantly be on the move as to not be a sitting target, but while in the car
and sitting in traffic, Johnny felt on edge because he could not control his
environment and he was afraid that the next car was going to explode or another
driver was going to take a shot at him.
Johnny was always very defensive, jittery or irritated of other
drivers, feeling like he was not in control, breathing heavily, sometimes
pulling over to gather his thoughts to remind himself that he was okay and was
not in the environment he left behind.
Johnny avoided shopping malls and
grocery stores because he felt stressed by the proximity of so many people
around him, which caused him to hurry up and want to leave the threatening
environment right away. Many times Johnny tried to avoid public events, because
it would make him think that something bad was going to happen and he had to be
on guard and keep focus of his surroundings.
This caused his heart to race and be easily distracted rather than
enjoy the event with the people he was with.
For
example, when Johnny went into a crowded store, he took notice of the exits in
case he started to feel overwhelmed and needed a quick escape. He also sat
with his back against the wall and a view to the door when eating at a
restaurant.
Johnny stated that he
would avoid watching action movies that depicted combat or involved explosions
and violence in order to not have recurring intrusive thoughts of his
experience of combat. Watching such movies would cause him to have sudden
flashbacks of the past and the events that occurred during the trauma.
When the symptoms of the PTSD were really bad, Johnny’s wife noticed him
wanting to stay home all the time, a sense of withdrawal on the weekends, and
even at family gatherings.
. Johnny
felt that there was a disconnect between him and society and he did not feel
safe outside his perimeter (his house). It was becoming very
difficult for John to manage his life. John also became very apprehensive
of people who looked as though they came from the Middle East because he
perceived them to be dangerous.
A fourth symptom of
PTSD is experiencing negative alterations in
cognition and mood that begins or worsens after the traumatic event. This
symptom manifested itself in Johnny as he had persistent negative beliefs and
expectations about himself and the world. Johnny
stated that he would beat himself up because he did not have a sense of
direction after returning from the military and struggled with leading a
meaningful life. Some of the repeated thoughts that John would pose to
himself included, “Johnny, you have lost your edge” and “Johnny, why
can’t you get it together?”
Johnny
would also experience persistent negative trauma-related emotions. For
example, years after the event, John would continue to feel a deep
responsibility for what occurred. Moreover, Johnny would continue to
ask himself, “Why not me? I was just in the next
vehicle behind.”
Lastly,
Johnny also experienced a diminished interest in
(pre-traumatic) hobbies and leisure. For example, prior to the event,
Johnny was interested in gardening, bike riding, and doing outdoor
activities. After the traumatic event, Johnny lost his motivation and
desire to work in the yard, riding his bike on trails, or wanting to go for
nature walks.
Another
symptom caused from experiencing negative
alterations in cognitions and mood was Johnny having these constant
sudden anger responses when confronted, and reactions to stressful situations
were not favorable, and were affecting his concentration. This occurred during
times of stress that triggered a “fight or flight” response, such
as someone cut him off while driving.
Johnny
started noticing these constant undesirable responses, and that they were
affecting his physical and mental health; being able to recognize familiar
things, such as remembering to turn at a familiar exit. To cope with such
undesirable responses, Johnny learned to separate himself from the situation,
by leaving the environment and taking a walk, or pulling over to a safe area
and taking time to calm down, and putting things in perspective.
The final symptom of
PTSD is trauma-related alterations in arousal
and reactivity that begin or worsen after the traumatic event. In
Johnny’s experience, he developed irritable and aggressive behaviors. For
example, when Johnny went out to family events and in groups he had a low
tolerance for people who were rude and negative and he wanted to confront such
people about their wrongdoing and would get into physical confrontations in
order to control the situations.
Johnny also
experienced hypervigilance and was always looking at his surroundings and
noticing who was where and identifying his safe zones. Johnny shared that
when he experienced the
hypervigilance he noticed that
every muscle within his body tightens to a flight or fight response.
Moreover, Johnny shared that it
was noticed by his friends and people who were around him that if there was a
sudden loud noise, John had the reaction of jumpiness, was startled, and lost
the ability to concentrate because he became so focused on where the noise came
from. This reaction of being startled bothered Johnny because he was always tense, and upset with himself that
he reacted to all sudden loud sounds and sudden movements in his close proximity.
To this day, Johnny is still working on trying to contain how he reacts to
loud noise and attempts to not lose his concentration.
The
single most important act for Johnny to come out of his self-imposed isolation shell and avoid suicide, although he attempted it
twice, was reaching out for help ~ starting with the VA and ending up with the
Vets Center and the Healing the Wounded Heart program and Band of Brothers
self-healing support group. The support and encouragement he felt in these
groups greatly facilitated his eventual
self-healing.
Johnny has developed his coping skills mostly through his association
with the Veteran’s Administration and his participation
in the heart centered Healing the Wounded heart program in Northern
California ~ where he
saw other veterans learning to cope with their problems and finding inner
direction.
Some of the strategies that Johnny has learned from the
Vet Center to help him manage his symptoms were
grounding, living in the here and now, proper breathing techniques, and
living in gratitude as well as other heart centered strategies.
Johnny
also participated in cognitive behavior
therapy, and getting treatment through integrative medicine treatments such as
acupressure, acupuncture, and massages to help with some of the symptoms of his
PTSD.
Learning and experiencing the helpful tools that do assist with
dealing and coping with PTSD ~ Johnny has gained a new perspective on life. He
has learned to control his symptoms, and this has resulted in an ability to
establish a positive relationship with himself, his family and the people
around him. But living in gratitude has changed the way he sees
life and has brought joy into his life.
His
recent Master's Degree in Recreational Therapy has set him on a career path
which he can thoroughly enjoy as well as make a difference.
He
is now saying Yes to himself and is no longer controlled by fear.
Johnny had this to say about his experience with the heart
centered Healing the wounded Heart (Band of Brothers) self-healing experience:
"The Healing the Wounded heart (Band of Brothers) program
taught me how to get back in touch with that part of myself that really matters
~ the part of me that really never left home. Now, my spirit has value
and meaning. Now, I am capable of standing up on my own. I have faith in my own
abilities. I am truly home now, and I see that happiness is my purpose in life
as well as service to my fellow veterans. I am enjoying life more and more and
my need for anything that clouds my perceptions of it has gone away."
Johnny
came home when he basically learned to love again and his heart was awakened
through gratefulness. Once that happened , he felt the joy beneath his fear and
anxieties and he was once again in service ~ but this time from his heart.
"The
key to the kingdom of heaven is Gratitude and God only reveals itself to a
grateful heart"
Allen
L Roland. Ph.D
Heart centered spiritual consultant and advisor Allen L Roland can be contacted at allen@allenroland.com Allen is also a lecturer and writer who shares a weekly political and social commentary on his web log and website allenroland.com. He is also featured columnist on Veterans Today and guest hosts a monthly national radio show TRUTHTALK on www.conscioustalk.net
