Tuesday, October 30, 2012


The golden key to self-healing is gratefulness. Only gratefulness can transcend the darkness of unworthiness, self-pity and self-negation and fully open the door to the heart ~ without which no true healing can occur: Allen L Roland

Without a doubt, the secret of my extremely successful short term transformational counseling, with both combat veterans with PTSD as well as emotionally wounded civilians, is the miracle of Gratefulness ~ for the only antidote for unworthiness and self-negation is gratefulness.

I define PTSD as Post Traumatic Heart Disorder in that a closed heart and emotional numbing is a common symptom of PTSD ~ but it is also for anyone else who has suffered significant emotional trauma or separation from love whereas they have shut down their heart and numbed out their feelings.

Over 35 years of active private practice has shown me how self-healing from any emotional trauma can be accelerated when unworthiness and self-hatred is replaced by gratitude.

When you start to thank people, who you have never thanked, you are in essence acknowledging their love and in that moment your heart begins to open and you begin to see through different eyes ~ no longer a victim but instead a person worthy of love.

My average client, which includes both veterans and civilians, completes their work in just seven sessions because, through gratitude, they want to heal and love again.

Recently, I completed seven one hour phone sessions with a new client from Connecticut who utilized my book RADICAL THERAPY, SURRENDER TO LOVE AND HEAL YOURSELF IN SEVEN SESSIONS ( Not Seven Years ) in conjunction with the phone sessions. She was amazed how energized she felt when she began to thank people who she had never thanked in her life and it is now a daily habit ~ as it is for myself. Her heart had closed as a child and she felt she had to there for everyone else but had never really taken her turn or felt loved for just being herself.

I actually did the visualization with her on the phone when she met the child within herself in session 4 ~ Connecting With The Inner Child. Here were her questions and answers from the child;
1. What do I need to do to embrace you in my life ? Love
2. What's my deepest fear ? Not being loved
3. Is that fear an illusion ? You bet it is !
4. Can I trust Allen ? Yes, he's a truth teller
5. What's my next step ? Love passionately
6. How do I do that ? By being fully yourself
7. Is there joy beneath my pain ? Absolutely, look at me
8. Will you forgive me for leaving you ? Absolutely, I love you.
9. What's the most important advice you can give me now ? It's not worth being anyone else but you.
10. Is there anything else you want to tell me ? Open your heart, there are no but's or what if's with love.

Those are all universal answers and very similar to the over 65 combat veterans with PTSD I have counseled over the past two years ~ and all have met the child within and begun the process of opening their heart through gratefulness.

We have all had life experiences wherein we have seemingly lost everything, where unexpectedly circumstances appear hopeless and terribly unjust ~ but I would maintain that we still must have faith in ourselves. That faith can only be maintained through gratefulness and only then do the miracles occur.

That sudden unexpected and cruel experience recently happened to myself and very rapidly all kinds of events happened to remind me that I am not only loved and cherished but that everything was going to be OK and that I would be taken care of.

One event was a clerk named Oliver at a print shop where I needed to immediately copy some important papers. Oliver sensed my deep despair and noticed my grandfather's 33 degree masonic ring on my right hand. He shook my hand with a masonic handshake and immediately took total care of me ~ and at that moment I felt the presence of my beloved grandfather who was saying everything was going to be OK.

One of my favorite truths is God only reveals itself to a grateful heart and since God is love ~ an evolutionary process with which we all participate as co-creators ~ that loving plan revealed itself through Oliver and subsequent helpful events to my hurt but grateful heart.

Armed with the miracle of gratefulness we can not only heal ourselves but manifest miracles while making a profound difference on this struggling planet.

“I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual…O how I laugh when I think of my vague indefinite riches. No run on my bank can drain it, for my wealth is not possession but enjoyment.”
~ Henry David Thoreau

Allen L Roland

Freelance Alternative Press Online columnist and psychotherapist Allen L Roland is available for comments, interviews, speaking engagements and private consultations  allen@allenroland.com

Allen L Roland is a practicing psychotherapist, author and lecturer who also shares a daily political and social commentary on his weblog and website www.allenroland.com

He also guest hosts a monthly national radio show TRUTHTALK on www.conscioustalk.net

1 comment:

  1. Can it really be this simple ~ that self healing is much more likely to happen when we fully open our heart ?
    Yes, it really is that simple and only the mind and the ego make it complicated.