Since I'm approaching 80 and probably living on borrowed time,
it’s time to write my Living Will ~ inspired of course by the irrepressible
Paul Rudnick of the New Yorker: Allen L Roland
Those
of you who have not read the New Yorker's Paul Rudnick's My Living Will written on April 25th, 2005
should check it out for it's the hilarious inspiration for My Living Will. http://www.newyorker.com/archive/2005/04/25/050425sh_shouts
MY LIVING WILL / ALLEN L ROLAND
1. If I
should remain in a persistent vegetative state for more than 30 days, I would
like someone to pay my rent.
2. If I do not respond to pinches, pinpricks, rubber
mallets, electric shock or other medical stimuli, please don't take it
personally.
3. If my death is particularly dramatic and worthy
of a movie ~ I would like to be played by Javier Bardem.
4. If my doctor
pronounces me brain-dead, I would like to see the new Adam Sandler movie.
5. If there is a family dispute over my medical condition,
it must be settled with a boxing match.
6. I do not wish to be kept alive by any machine that has a
5,10 or 20 dollar change setting.
7. In lieu of flowers or donations, I would prefer a
fireworks show.
8. Assume that, even in a coma, I can still hear
discussions about my life, my loves and my struggles.
9. If I remain motionless for an extended period and utter
only guttural, meaningless sounds, I would like it set to music and submitted
for an Emmy.
10. At my
memorial service, I would like my clergyman to begin his eulogy with the words
“I suppose, in a way, we all misunderstood him.”
It's
very healthy to laugh at death particularly because it's inevitable and it's really just
another chapter here on earth which may or may not have a sequel ~ dependent on whether we denied or surrendered to love.
Allen
L Roland
Allen
L Roland is a practicing psychotherapist, author and
lecturer who also shares a daily political and social commentary on his web log and website
allenroland.com He also
guest hosts a monthly national radio show TRUTHTALK on www.conscioustalk.net
Great article. I am interested in doing some research on wills in Mississauga.
ReplyDeleteI love your sense of humor! Hope to be able to keep on laughing when it come time to write my own. My dad just wrote his will in Mississauga last month.
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