The golden key to self-healing is gratefulness. Only
gratefulness can transcend the darkness of unworthiness, self-pity and
self-negation and fully open the door to the heart ~ without which no true
healing can occur: Allen L Roland
Without
a doubt, the secret of my extremely successful short term transformational
counseling, with both combat veterans with PTSD as well as emotionally wounded
civilians, is the miracle of Gratefulness ~ for the only antidote for
unworthiness and self-negation is gratefulness.
I
define PTSD as Post Traumatic Heart Disorder in that a closed heart and
emotional numbing is a common symptom of PTSD ~ but it is also for anyone else
who has suffered significant emotional trauma or separation from love whereas
they have shut down their heart and numbed out their feelings.
Over
35 years of active private practice has shown me how self-healing from any
emotional trauma can be accelerated when unworthiness and self-hatred is
replaced by gratitude.
When
you start to thank people, who you have never thanked, you are in essence
acknowledging their love and in that moment your heart begins to open and you
begin to see through different eyes ~ no longer a victim but instead a
person worthy of love.
My
average client, which includes both veterans and civilians, completes their
work in just seven sessions because, through gratitude, they want to heal
and love again.
Recently,
I completed seven one hour phone sessions with a new client from Connecticut
who utilized my book RADICAL THERAPY, SURRENDER TO LOVE AND HEAL YOURSELF IN
SEVEN SESSIONS ( Not Seven Years ) in conjunction with the phone sessions.
She was amazed how energized she felt when she began to thank people who she
had never thanked in her life and it is now a daily habit ~ as it is for
myself. Her heart had closed as a child and she felt she had to there for
everyone else but had never really taken her turn or felt loved for just
being herself.
I
actually did the visualization with her on the phone when she met the child
within herself in session 4 ~ Connecting With The Inner Child. Here were
her questions and answers from the child;
1.
What do I need to do to embrace you in my life ? Love
2.
What's my deepest fear ? Not being loved
3.
Is that fear an illusion ? You bet it is !
4.
Can I trust Allen ? Yes, he's a truth teller
5.
What's my next step ? Love passionately
6.
How do I do that ? By being fully yourself
7.
Is there joy beneath my pain ? Absolutely, look at me
8.
Will you forgive me for leaving you ? Absolutely, I love you.
9.
What's the most important advice you can give me now ? It's not worth
being anyone else but you.
10.
Is there anything else you want to tell me ? Open your heart, there are
no but's or what if's with love.
Those
are all universal answers and very similar to the over 65 combat veterans with
PTSD I have counseled over the past two years ~ and all have met the child
within and begun the process of opening their heart through gratefulness.
We
have all had life experiences wherein we have seemingly lost everything, where
unexpectedly circumstances appear hopeless and terribly unjust ~ but I would
maintain that we still must have faith in ourselves. That faith can
only be maintained through gratefulness and only then do the miracles occur.
That
sudden unexpected and cruel experience recently happened to myself and very
rapidly all kinds of events happened to remind me that I am not only loved and
cherished but that everything was going to be OK and that I would be taken care
of.
One event was a clerk named Oliver at a print shop where I needed to immediately copy some important papers. Oliver sensed my deep despair and noticed my grandfather's 33 degree masonic ring on my right hand. He shook my hand with a masonic handshake and immediately took total care of me ~ and at that moment I felt the presence of my beloved grandfather who was saying everything was going to be OK.
One
of my favorite truths is God only reveals itself to a grateful heart and
since God is love ~ an evolutionary process with which we all participate as
co-creators ~ that loving plan revealed itself through Oliver and subsequent
helpful events to my hurt but grateful heart.
Armed
with the miracle of gratefulness we can not only heal ourselves but manifest
miracles while making a profound difference on this struggling planet.
“I
am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual…O how I laugh
when I think of my vague indefinite riches. No run on my bank can drain it, for
my wealth is not possession but enjoyment.”
~
Henry David Thoreau
Allen
L Roland
Freelance
Alternative Press Online columnist and psychotherapist Allen L Roland is
available for comments, interviews, speaking engagements and private
consultations allen@allenroland.com
Allen
L Roland is a practicing psychotherapist, author and lecturer who also shares a
daily political and social commentary on his weblog and website www.allenroland.com
He
also guest hosts a monthly national radio show TRUTHTALK
on www.conscioustalk.net