Death is the ultimate return home and a time of great soul
celebration for we are returning to our original oneness and a place of such
deep profound love that it's beyond words or description ~ only poetry can
offer clues: Allen L Roland, PhD
Death
is the great unknown and can only be conquered by totally surrendering to the
moment and the fact that we are universally loved.
Dr Eben Alexander poignantly describes the blissful state of after-death consciousness that
he personally experienced during his own near-death experience in his book ~ Proof of Heaven ~ in essence, Eben
correctly says it’s all about love;
Proof of Heaven,
p. 71 ~ “If I had to boil this entire message down to
one sentence, it would run this way: “You
are loved.”
And if I had to boil it down
further, to just one word, it would (of course) be simply: Love ~ Love is
without doubt, the basis of everything."
"Not some abstract,
hard-to-fathom kind of love, but the day-to-day kind that everyone knows – the kind of love we
feel when we look at our spouse and our children, or even our animals.
In its purest and most powerful form, this
love is not jealous or selfish, but unconditional."
"This is the reality of realities, the
incomprehensibly glorious truth of truths that lives and breathes at the core
of everything that exists or that ever will exist, and no
remotely accurate understanding of who and what we are can be achieved by
anyone who does not know it, and embody it in all of their actions."
"Not much of a scientific insight?
Well, I beg to differ. I’m back from that place, and nothing
could convince me that this is not only the single most important scientific
truth as well.”
Every love relationship that has ensued since I painfully re-opened my heart in 1971 has led me through my
fears to the
heart grounded place where I am now ~ living in the blissful awareness that I am once
again part of something far greater than myself and, as such, my heart has
become a fragment of life's heart.
The great Egyptian poet Mahfouz expressed it beautifully ~ “When
the heart achieves its desire, you shall transcend time and space” ~
for we are all, in essence, put on this planet a little time to bear the beams
of a profound love that transcends time and space.
But I was in that unconditional space as a young child, living
with my grandfather, for I was once again part of something far greater than
myself, filled with overwhelming joy and could literally feel love leap from my
heart into his.
We have strong evidence that separation from love can lead to
illness, death or self-destructive actions. Separation from the Unified Field
quite
often begins in our earliest childhood, in our most primary relationships with
family members such as grandparents ~ as my separation with my
grandfather.
The
late pioneering psychologist Arthur Janov vividly communicates this tragic yet
commonplace scenario in his classic book, The Feeling Child ~
"
Actions and interactions between parent and child are only important insofar as
they reflect feeling. Loving a child should be as natural as breathing air.
Children take both for granted but when love is missing there is a frantic and
usually unconscious struggle. Imagine the depression, the panic, the unbearable
pain that would occur if breathable air was suddenly not there. It's not that
different for an infant or a child when love is not there ~ love, as
primarily defined is necessary for life. "
My
observation, from my own experience and my work with clients, is that the ego
is born from this no-choice situation as a means of surviving the loss or
threatened loss of love.
Like
most of you, readers, I too have experienced such a no-choice dilemma as a
child. My option was either to somehow re-experience the excruciating repressed
emotions of my separation from love, or, to cut myself off from who I really
was. But it was still my choice ~ for I
was not ready to face my own well of grief.
I
can still remember standing in the hall of my stepfather's house at age six in
Nahant, Massachusetts, suddenly realizing I would never again see my
grandfather ~ the person who had been the main source of love in my life ~ I
remember feeling complete panic and desperation, feeling utterly alone and
full of hopeless despair.
I
still vividly remember when my grandfather eventually came to visit and how I
refused to go out on the back porch to see him ~ I
could not bear to face the repressed emotions of the original traumatic event
that would be triggered by him leaving again.
My
heart had closed to block out those unbearable feelings ~ emotionally I had
stopped growing,
It
was as if I had been separated from love, when in fact I had separated
myself from love by closing my heart to avoid feeling pain.
Soon
after, I began frantically acting out to avoid these feelings ~ I stole,
lied, set fires and almost stopped deep breathing ~ it hurt too much to breathe
deeply.
No
one seemed to recognized my desperate cries for help ~ I became someone
else, developed an alter ego patterned to win love versus being myself and I
eventually hated the false self I had become in order to survive ~ hiding
behind subconscious bars of fear that being myself was not enough.
It
would take me nearly 30 years to fully realize that emotionally I truly had
another choice and that being myself was not only enough ~ it was honest,
vulnerable and quite beautiful !
FALLING THROUUGH THE RABBIT HOLE OF LOVE
Falling or surrendering to love is literally falling through a rabbit hole
to another state of consciousness ~ a state of light and soul consciousness
deepest within ourselves where we initially
attempt to externalize and possess and
eventually must painfully internalize in order to assume our place in a
universal loving plan in action ~ but this inner
transmutation is actually ego
transcendence.
The eight steps of ego transcendence are Denial, Anger, Bargaining,
Depression, Acceptance and Connection, Surrender, Celebration and Service,
Falling in love was my first step toward
experiencing the divine light and a state of love, joy and soul
consciousness deepest within ourselves and no one describes the feeling more
vividly than the famous Persian poet, Rumi ~
“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky,
to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment.
First to let go of life.
Finally, to take a step without feet.”
Rumi
But Rumi also apparently sensed that love was a force beyond time and space
and its roots were in the unseen world of soul consciousness and, I would add,
the Unified Field ~ a state
of consciousness that exists not only beyond time and space but also deepest
within ourselves and whose principal property is the propensity to unite.
“
Everything you see has its roots in the unseen world.
The forms may change, yet the essence remains the same.
Every wonderful sight will vanish, every sweet word will fade,
But do not be disheartened,
The source they come from is eternal, growing,
Branching out, giving new life and new joy.
Why do you weep?
The source is within you
And this whole world is springing up from it.”
Rumi
Without a doubt, the most important initial step in my journey to
experience and know this same truth was falling in love ~ for indeed I
fell through a rabbit hole to a whole new dimension of feeling, seeing and
knowing.
Of course, I was already married, in a state of deep denial and bargaining
and initially externalized that love and when that idealized love was shattered
by the reality of my marital situation ~ I could either run away from the
resultant deep psychic pain or do what I actually did ~ accept, connect and
surrender to the deep pain realizing that I
would be haunted forever by the heights of that joyfulness until I faced and
sink into the uncharted waters of the psychic well of grief I was then
encountering. David Whyte expressed it perfectly in his poem The Well
of Grief ~
“Those who will not slip beneath
the still surface on the well of grief
turning downward through its black water
to the place we cannot breathe
will never know the source from which we drink,
the secret water, cold and clear,
nor find in the darkness glimmering
the small round coins
thrown by those who wished for something else.”
Some part of me sensed that there was a sad and alone child within
me who always wanted to feel that deeply and I could not go any
further until I also embraced his deep pain as I had once fully embraced
his incredible joy.
After I willingly emotionally crashed and faced my pain in 1971 ~ I can vividly remember standing on a
corner waiting for my wife in San Mateo, California ~ fully aware that I
had been stripped of all my worldly possessions and literally had nothing to
hang on to ~ to define me ~ I was for all intent and purposes lost and alone
without my ego possessions.
I had surrendered to all that child's
delight and now it was time to surrender to his pain ~ trusting that
beneath that well of grief was not only joy but also my true authentic self and
my heart centered destiny.
Willingly surrendering to the well of grief was an act of faith and I would
never have survived if it wasn't in the spirit of gratefulness and that I was
still unconditionally loved by my family.
From that deep and egoless state of apparent death and aloneness ~ I
fully surrendered and embraced my true raw self and very
rapidly my dreams became my guide to this new world of light and soul
consciousness, that existed beyond time and space, as well as a startling realization that I was beginning to
see through different eyes .
I dreamed I was going to write a book entitled CONSCIOUS LOVE, THE
ULTIMATE ENERGY ~ which three years later in 1975 became my Master’s
Thesis and the last 38 years have been spent proving it in my heart centered
work as a therapist which culminated in my PHD dissertation on the Unified Field in 1998 and
then the publishing of it in the form of my latest book in 2000 ~ RADICAL
THERAPY / Surrender to Love and Heal Yourself in Seven Sessions ( Not Seven
Years ) as well as my YouTube sessions under
Radical Therapy in 2015.
This book has been read by all my clients as well as the more than 125
combat vets with PTSD in the eighteen Healing The Wounded Heart workshops I
have facilitated over the past seven years.
Surrendering
to love is also why my clients begin healing themselves in only seven sessions
and why there has been an average 55 to 60% improvement in all symptoms of PTSD
in my Band of Brothers 8 week PTSD groups ~ particularly feelings of Inner
Peace, joy, love and gratefulness.
Despite the obvious success of a heart centered approach to working with
combat veterans with PTSD, along with the alarming rising rate of veterans
suicide (at least 25
a day) ~ it’s politics as usual for the VA who still refuse to sanction a heart
centered approach to Combat Vet care and remain in the structured box of drug
and symptom oriented programs while its top General calls for alternative
approaches.
I am now quite conscious of the fact that I am seeing through the heart
while doing my heart centered consulting work,
from a place of celebration and service ~ while
living in a Unified Field of love, light, joy
and soul consciousness ~ the same field that Rumi so eloquently wrote of;
“Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase each other
doesn’t make any sense.”
Rumi
Combat veterans of all ages, seniors and youth all want to be seen through
the heart and they all respond when we share our truth and speak from our heart
. As an example, here’s a short email note from a member of the Orange county
Life after Life club, where I made a two hour presentation on my heart
centered work two years ago.
Dear Allen,
Our souls saw each other yesterday. I knew I knew you. I needed
to be there and I needed to be in the front row. I am frequently
invisible, but you saw me. I had waves of heart energy during your
presentation, and when you quoted William Blake ("We are put on Earth a
little space to bear the beams of love") my heart gave a leap! His
words became clearer.
I am returning to the light and BECOMING my true
self, excavating, tunneling out from underneath the pain and artifice, the
defensive armor in which to hide.
I am listening to Caroline Myss and Andrew Harvey, “Divine Rebels, Saints,
Mystics, Holy Change Agents-and You”. Your work enmeshes with theirs and
sparked a deeper understanding.
I am beginning to see the strands of evolution in me, the healing from
psychic despair that will ripple out from me to help heal the WEB of the
ALL. This is my preparation time, for what, I do not know, but I do know
I am gathering strength and courage to say YES when it presents.
I too, have felt that this is my last go round on this plane. I have
no idea how or why I know this, but the KNOWING is very strong and I am
becoming Brave enough to BELIEVE that I am worthy enough to know this.
Thank you for saying “YES”. Thank you for the courage to present your
truth. You have unlocked the treasure chest and my soul is in joy.
In deep gratitude for your Divine Light,
Kate Hennessy
So falling through the rabbit hole of love led eventually not only to my
true self and a state of love, light, joy and soul consciousness deepest within
myself but also to a place of celebration
and service as well as the deep realization that I am part of a loving plan in
action ~ an evolutionary process with which we all participate as
co-creators, if we will but listen, respond and bravely share our truth
regardless of the risks.
Kate's
letter reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by William James ~ which most
certainly applies to me ~ "I
am done with great things and big things and great institutions and big
successes, and I am for those tiny invisible molecular forces that work from
individual to individual, creeping through the crannies of the world like so
many rootlets or like the capillary oozing water, yet, which, if you give them
time, will bend the hardest monuments of human pride."
Heart centered spiritual consultant and advisor Allen L
Roland can be contacted at allen@allenroland.com Allen is also a
lecturer and writer who shares a weekly political and social commentary
on his web log and
website allenroland.com. He is
also featured columnist on Veterans Today and is a
featured guest on many radio and Television programs.
