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John
Bradshaw, a pioneer in the self-healing movement and author of Reclaiming and
Healing your Inner child was an important and underrated compass in the field
of humanistic psychology. Bradshaw correctly maintained that our ultimate home
coming was reclaiming a lost and alone child within ourselves and set the stage
for my work in reclaiming the soul of that lost child by jump starting their
hearts through gratefulness and forgiveness: Allen L Roland, PhD
"Being abandoned through the neglect of our
developmental dependency needs is the major factor in becoming an adult child.
We grow up; we look like adults. We walk and talk like adults, but beneath the
surface is a little child who feels empty and needy, a child whose needs are
insatiable because he has a child’s needs in an adult body. This insatiable
child is the core of all compulsive/addictive behavior.”
~ John Bradshaw, Healing the Shame that Binds You
~ John Bradshaw, Healing the Shame that Binds You
Only William Grimes, New York Times,
chose to publicly mark the Death of Self-Help Evangelist John Bradshaw on May
12, 2016 ~~
"John Bradshaw,
whose ideas about family dysfunction and the damaged “inner child” concealed
within most adults made him one of the most popular and influential self-help
evangelists of the 1990s, died on Sunday in Houston. He was 82.
The cause was heart failure,
his son, John Jr., said.
Mr. Bradshaw drew on his unhappy
childhood as the son of an alcoholic father, his own drinking problems and his
work as a counselor to develop a set of explanations for myriad psychological
ills.
In his television shows on PBS and in
books like “Bradshaw On: The Family” (1986) and “Homecoming:
Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child” (1990), he argued that
millions of adults fail to achieve healthy relationships because they have
never come to terms with the shame, self-blame and “toxic guilt” caused by
parental abuse, physical or emotional.
Until they learned to seek out and heal the hurt child
within, he said, most adults stumbled through life, expressing their pain
through self-destructive behavior and entering into unhappy love relationships
with similarly damaged partners, each hoping to find in the other a loving,
approving parent." See Grimes
Article ~ http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/13/books/john-bradshaw-self-help-evangelist-dies-at-82.html?emc=edit_th_20160513&nl=todaysheadlines&nlid=65700837&_r=0
John Bradshaw in action
In lectures attended by up to 7,000
people in the 1990's, and in smaller workshops (some
of which I attended) he led audiences through “grief work”
exercises intended to make them travel back in time and face themselves as they
once were as children ~ small, frightened and alone and most certainly
confirmed by Bradshaw's own life experience ~ “When I walked out of
the seminary, I was 31, but I was like a scared, frightened kid,” he
told People magazine in 1990. “I had no place to live, no license, no
clothes. I was just a lost soul"
I am indebted to John Bradshaw for using his own tortured childhood experiences to find and identify the Well of Grief that many of us experienced in our own dysfunctional families ~ but I courageously surrendered to and went beneath that well of grief and found a spring of joy, love and soul consciousness ~ a Unified Field of love, joy and soul consciousness that lay not only beyond time and space but also beneath our deepest fears.
Bradshaw
definitely sensed what lay beneath his personal pain but could never quite
surrender to or trust the joy of soul consciousness ~ but knew unconditional
love was the path toward finding it.
“Giving and receiving unconditional love is the most effective
and powerful way to personal wholeness and happiness.”
~ John Bradshaw, Healing the Shame that Binds You
~ John Bradshaw, Healing the Shame that Binds You
John
sensed this same great truth that I know and own but his work most
definitely inspired me to not only find and share the truth of this Unified field of love and joy that lay beneath our
deepest pain but also to write about it and demonstrate it in my heart
centered counseling / consulting work
with both Combat veterans as well as civilians with PTHD ~ Post Traumatic Heart
Disorder.
Dr
Stanley Krippner explains my work in the foreword of my book "No psychiatric manual lists
"soul loss" as a condition in need of treatment but shamans tell me
that "soul loss" is widespread in contemporary society ~ Allen
Roland has had the insight to understand what the shamans have told me and he
also has developed the skills to help his clients regain their souls."
To
elaborate on Dr Krippner' s words, I have developed the skills to help my
clients regain their souls over the past 45 years by being their coach and not their therapist ~ by jump starting their
hearts through an action based self-healing process which stresses love, gratefulness and
forgiveness and then coaching them through
their deepest fears to the love, joy and a state
of soul consciousness deepest intention within them which I have identified as
the Unified Field. As
such, they begin to see through different
eyes .
They all have access to these
self-healing steps in my updated Kindle Book RADICAL THERAPY, SURRENDER TO LOVE AND
HEAL YOURSELF IN SEVEN SESSIONS (not seven years). Here is
the Kindle link http://www.amazon.com/Radical-Therapy-Surrender-Yourself-Sessions-ebook/dp/B00JGE5VQE
And here's a link to the YouTube Skype
sessions of the self-healing process I teach and coach
~ Watch, in the first 20 minutes of session five, how Marina conquers
her deepest fear (her well of grief) by going through it and then demonstrate
that beneath her pain and fear is boundless joy.
See video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r12MoNnwPKg&feature=youtu.be
The
gift I give my clients, particularly combat veterans, is the gift of the
honest, free and joyous gift of myself as well as a clear demonstration of what
it's like to be in the field and not be controlled by fear. Reading the
first nine chapters of my book is a prerequisite before our first session
(either Skype or in person) where I literally take them by the hand and tell
them that "It's Your Turn!"
It is here, at the point of heart based action, that the soul connection is established. Through their life chart ~ they connect the dots of all their important love relationships ~ and then the inner soul light goes on because their homework is to thank these people and tell them why they are or have been a gift in their life. This action based gratitude homework leads them through their fears and to the life changing realization that they were loved and are now actually loving and healing themselves.
They slowly begin to see through different
eyes ~ eyes unclouded by fear and pain and a
light at the end of their tunnel of despair.
And
I, as their coach versus therapist, empower them to give that scared and alone
child a voice and become their friend forever for I have also touched their
hearts with my empowering work and unconditional love
~ much as Bradshaw did with his ground breaking work and books in the 1990's.
All
the sessions and exercises are geared toward my clients regaining their souls ~
for the vast majority of my clients have had significant birth trauma or early
childhood trauma ~ whereas psychic pain has overridden their inherent joy as
well as a state of soul consciousness. From that Well of Grief they created an
ego as well as a protective cocoon of ego consciousness
~ for it was seemingly their only choice for survival.
Unfortunately, most of us go through our lives recreating our
original pain and aloneness in our relationships ~ not realizing that
beneath that well of grief is our original joy, intention and purpose as well
as our innate connection to the Unified Field and a state of love and
soul consciousness.
It
is within that cocoon of ego consciousness that
the innocent and fearful child emotionally resides waiting to be seen and
touched through unconditional love and then empowered to say yes to themselves
and no longer be controlled by fear.
This
risk taking homework of gratitude inspires people to take action and encounter
their deepest fears, confront and go beneath their pain and finally surrender
to the love and joy deepest within themselves ~ as
well as reunite with a Unified Field of love and soul
consciousness that exists not beyond time
and space and also beneath their deepest fears. The key to the kingdom of
the soul is gratitude for God (a loving plan in action)
only reveals itself to a grateful heart.
At
four years old, while living with my grandfather, I knew ~ for a few
moments ~ that I was a beloved and essential part of a loving universe ~ I
was in the Unified Field of
love and soul consciousness.
Two
years later, while still living in New England, I was suddenly taken away from
my grandfather, my heart closed and I checked out. In essence, I stopped
emotionally growing and for the next 30 years that transcendent moment of soul
consciousness remained buried beneath a well of grief, a mantle of psychic
pain, aloneness and despair ~ it hurt too deeply to feel anything deeply. But
in the midst of that initial pain, I had a vision of the Golden Gate bridge,
water and houses ~ a moment in time precognitive vision that I would eventually
walk into 40 years later and once again see
through his eyes. See post on walking into
that precognitive vision ~
As
such, all of our love relationships are steps on this quest until we finally
embrace the grand prize ~ our authentic self and our part in a universal
loving plan ~ the Unified Field .
Thus,
my whole life has been a journey to surrender to love, fully open my heart and
eventually see through that child's innocent and knowing eyes again ~ and
courageously share what I see as I am doing now with you.
See
my VT Article on owning the great truth of a Unified Field of love ~ http://www.veteranstoday.com/2016/01/18/on-turning-82-and-owning-a-great-truth/
Finally,
Lincoln Barnett ( who wrote The
Universe and Dr Einstein ) writes of the
eventual philosophical triumph of the discovery of a Unified Field;
"The
great philosophical triumph of any Unified Field theory
is implicit in the first word of its title. For it will carry to logical
fulfillment the long course of science towards the unification of man's
concepts of the physical world.
For
from its august perspective, the entire universe would appear as one elemental
field in which each atom, each flying electron, each star, each wandering comet
and slow-wheeling galaxy is seen to be but a ripple or tumescence in the
underlying space-time unity."
And
so a profound simplicity would supplant the surface complexity of nature. Thus all man's
perceptions of the world and all his abstract intuitions of reality would merge
finally into one, and the deep underlying unity of the universe would be laid
bare"
Teilhard
de Chardin implied the reality of such a Unified Field when he posited the
existence of a universal soul that united and joined the universe and all
humanity through love .
In
his last unpublished work, Le Christique (The Promised Land) ~ Teilhard
wrote of the inevitable consequences that will arise when this truth appears:
"Sooner
or later there will be a chain reaction .. for the truth has to appear only
once, in one single mind, for it to be impossible for anything ever to prevent
it from spreading universally and setting everything ablaze"
And
the fiery truth is that the original joy within us is God ~ for God is love. Love itself is the
ultimate life force, love alone lies as the foundation of a vast evolutionary
process.
"Love
alone is capable of uniting living beings in such a way as to complete and
fulfill them for it alone takes them and joins them by what is deepest within
themselves" Teilhard
de Chardin
Each
of us participates in this joyous evolution as co-creators who are willing to
go out and set everything ablaze by opening our hearts, claiming our
gifts and playing our unique part in a universal loving plan.
Jesus,
Buddha and all the great spiritual figures were in this sense divinely human.
They were all evolutionary forerunners of a state of love and soul
consciousness that we can and must attain in order to evolve ~ they were all in
a Unified Field that transcends time and
space.
John Bradshaw led us, through his work, to the psychic pain of the well of grief that separates us from this great internal truth and I in turn have fully surrendered to that well of grief from a place of accountability and gratefulness and discovered and identified that beneath it is a deeper truth ~ a spring of love, joy, intention and purpose which still governs my life of heart based service.
The
deep underlying unity of the universe is a psychic energy field of love and
soul consciousness the Unified
Field ~ which exists
not only beyond time and space but also beneath our deepest fears and we resist
its universal pull and urge to unite at our collective peril.
"The thread of all sustaining beauty that runs through all
and doth all unite" ~ Longfellow
And
this is the truth that shall set everything ablaze!
Allen
L Roland, PhD
Heart centered spiritual consultant and advisor Allen L Roland can be contacted at allen@allenroland.com Allen is also a lecturer and writer who shares a weekly political and social commentary on his web log and website allenroland.com. He is also featured columnist on Veterans Today and is a featured guest on many radio and Television programs.
John Bradshaw played a significant role in leading us into the terror and aloneness of childhood abuse and gave us a glimpse of the joy, intention and purpose that lay beneath our deepest pain.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this, Allen. John Bradshaw was a source of inspiration in our family and his writing has made an impact on my life. I feel honored to have known of him and been blessed by what he shared.
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