Twins holding
hands after birth
My twin brother, Bobby died in his sleep early in the morning on
August 17, 2013. Bobby passed through the event horizon of death knowing he was
loved, most certainly by myself, and safely cradled once again in the arms of
his beloved grandfather who eagerly welcomed him into a Unified Field of
love, joy and soul consciousness that exists not only beyond time and space but
also beneath our deepest fears: Allen L Roland
“Beyond our ideas of
right-doing and wrong-doing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase ‘each other’
doesn’t make sense anymore.” Rumi
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase ‘each other’
doesn’t make sense anymore.” Rumi
When
my twin brother suddenly and courageously let go of his bitter, determined and
angry fight to beat the crippling effects of late stage Parkinson's disease and
began to accept his situation, the day before his sudden passing on August 17th
~ I immediately felt a profound lightness for I was indelibly connected to my
twin's struggle to survive and on a heart level have been actively preparing
him for his inevitable passage, even though I was 3000 miles away.
That
included encouraging our High School baseball team mate Jim to visit him every
week at a nursing home for the past several months and remind Bobby after every
visit of my deep love for him.
Bobby
was also preparing himself, unbeknownst to me, by visiting our grandfather's
grave every week and bringing fresh flowers ~ somehow sensing he would
eventually be joining him in the not too distant future before he became
bedridden with his Parkinson's disease.
After he became immobile, his devoted daughter Janice would drive him every day to Grampy Joe's gravesite to either water or replace the flowers and became part of his ongoing tribute to his deepest source of conscious unconditional love.
In November of 2012, I sent him a letter titled Love Note To My Twin ~ which was read to him by his wife and set the stage for his final passage ~ " The twin connection defies description, Bobby ~ it’s a loving connection that goes beyond time and space ~ it’s a deep knowing soul connection that was cemented in the womb as well as our shared birth experience. Since I am the first born twin, two minutes before you, it is my responsibility to prepare you for the final transition by sharing that God (a loving plan in action) only reveals itself to a grateful heart and that alone will prepare you for your final passage. My heart is most definitely grateful that you were my loving twin and companion for so many years and I will most certainly be with you in your final moments and most definitely when you pass through the event horizon of physical death. Right now, you may feel increasingly alone since it’s so difficult to speak and move ~ but you are being well taken care of and are most certainly loved by your immediately family as well as brothers and sisters. But be aware that I am already holding your hand, as I did as a young infant, and as you look out that window at the Thompson Club playing field you will see me beckoning to you, with a baseball bat on my shoulder, telling you to hurry up before the summer rain squall starts and you will smile knowingly and be grateful, as I am, that you are indeed blessed to be a twin." See letter ~ http://www.veteranstoday.com/2012/11/16/love-note-to-my-twin/
Bobby
is now in a state of soul consciousness and gloriously happy for I felt his
joyful presence the morning he passed and actually saw his childlike playful
presence, at a much younger age, much like I felt and saw our mother's youthful
loving presence when she suddenly passed away in 1987 ~ when she lovingly
appeared in my bedroom 3000 miles away joyfully exclaiming to me ~ Allen, I
know, Allen, I Know
It was also at that time, at my mother's funeral in
1987, that Bobby reached out to me from a lost and alone place to help him
discover a new direction in his life ~ which was in shambles at that time.
From 3000 miles away, I helped Bobby go inside to
face his deepest fears and aloneness but he couldn't let go ~ but he at least got
to a place of another choice and we bonded even deeper during that experience. My
point being that my twin was also on a quest to find a lost and alone child
within himself but was not ready yet to let go and face the psychic pain that
separated him from that innocent and joyful child that I loved so deeply and
experienced the morning that he passed.
But
it wasn't the playing field across the street where
I was waiting for him ~ it was a Unified Field of love, joy and soul
consciousness which most certainly exists beyond time and space and was always
beneath his deepest fear and pain ~ a field of loving consciousness and connectedness we
both experienced in the womb as well as young children and a field where we are
now once again delightfully reunited.
Somehow
this song seems appropriate for my beloved twin who has and will always live in
my heart ~ Danny Boy
“Your
task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers
within yourself that you have built against it.” Rumi
Allen
L Roland
Freelance Alternative
Press Online columnist and transformational counselor
Allen L Roland is available for comments, interviews, speaking engagements and
private Skype consultations (allen@allenroland.com )
Allen
L Roland is a practicing psychotherapist, author and
lecturer who also shares a daily political and social commentary on his web log and website allenroland.com He also guest hosts a
monthly national radio show TRUTHTALK on www.conscioustalk.net
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